Not Always a Joy

It has now been 10 weeks since I first started learning the violin, tomorrow will be my tenth lesson. During the first two weeks, violin was all I could think about. I knew it would wear off but I went with the flow and enjoyed every bit of the excitement while it lasted. Then came several weeks of complete disappointment, there was nothing I could play that made me feel good about my playing. It all sounded terrible and the old violin that I had wasn't set up well which left me sore and miserable. Our trip to Portland was very fun and somewhat inspiring, I came home armed with my new violin but sadly the sounds I pulled out of it were still very disappointing. I began to identify with a few of my piano students who often show up less than inspired in spite of the dedication put into practicing or with others, who no matter what I give them to work on can't seem to find the interest to practice. One day it occurred to me that I was not keeping up with good practice habits which I knew and understood well when I play the piano but for some reason they were escaping me at the violin. I found myself playing from beginning to end of each song over and over! The problem with that is by the time you get to the end you don't remember what need worked on at the beginning so instead of improving each time you play, you play badly over and over and over...I tell my piano students all the time that you must not play from beginning to end over and over but rather break the piece into sections and work over each section carefully. I was delighted to have discovered my own fault in practicing, now perhaps I will be able to move forward with more interest. Each song I work on has a sticky note to remind me which section I'm to work on during the week. I have found since then that practicing though still a discipline is much more enjoyable when I have a bite sized goal to work on each time. Like many things in life learning an instrument is difficult, requires discipline, it's rewarding, but it is not always a joy. Because it is not always a joy I often have to fight the urge to skip a day of practice here and there.

For any of you out there who are trying to learn an instrument or perhaps some other skill, or maybe it is that you are trying to include something new in your daily schedule like taking a walk, reading your Bible, or eating fruit for breakfast instead of ice cream(yes, that too is one of my weaknesses)...more than half the battle takes place in reaching your hand forward to do the task. Once you have done that, the rest comes much more readily. I know that once I get my violin into my hands that practicing doesn't seem so difficult, it's just that getting to the violin and picking it up seems so difficult. As far as it being a joy, I know that for now it does not have to be the most joyous activity, some things, like the violin, are just tough. Someday if I press on, if I can just keep reaching out my hand and picking up the instrument day after day after day, it will become a joy for me and for those who listen.

Another key thing is to not compare oneself with others. It is easy to look at someone else and say "wow, they play so easily" or "look, he memorizes a chapter of the Bible each week". Instead, I must look at myself and take bite size that suites my own mouth. If it takes me all month to learn a simple song in tune, then I should be well pleased when I finally accomplish my task well and thankful to Yahweh that He has helped me.

A Sweet Surprise

Ever since we returned from Sukkot I've been putting off the chore of changing water around the property. I always manage to get half soaked no matter what I do and with the weather getting cooler and my fingers and toes always being too cold anyway, it seems my dislike for the job is reasonable. For the past couple of days dad has reminded me to go out and move the water several times and today I told him that I would do it as soon as the sunshine warmed things up a bit. Finally by 5 in the evening I realized the sun wasn't going to warm things up and that I'd better get out and do what I said I would do. Reluctantly I put on my jacket then I stood in dad's office and told him how cold I was. He told me to go get dressed as if it were zero degrees outside. I took the jacket off and pulled pajamas on under my clothes and a sweatshirt over them, then the jacket and a hat. Still, I procrastinated, standing in his office(looking ridiculous with the pj bottoms poking out from under my skirt). Finally I began to feel quite toasty so I got my boots on, tucked my pjs into them and headed out to the orchard to move the hose from one dry tree to the next. As I pulled the hose to it's new position it caught and kinked, the spray from the sprinkler dribbled to a stop and in the quiet of the outdoors I heard faint but distinct meow that I was sure I would never hear again. I looked around and spotted Mimi, my 15 year old cat who had been missing for 3 weeks, thought to have been eaten by dogs. She was stuck on the other side of the fence in the neighbors yard, pacing back and forth meowing. I almost began climbing the fence to rescue her, but the mental picture of what the neighbors might see and what they might think was enough to stop me. I ran and hopped in the car, drove around the block, ran through the neighbors back yard to scoop little Mimi up. She had a wild look about her and she seemed thin and scared. I walked back to the car with her, just then the neighbor was driving up. I happened to glance down and remembered those stupid pajama pants poking out from under my skirt, they had untucked themselves when I ran to Mimi's rescue. Embarrassed, I smiled and waved at the neighbor and hurried back home with poor skinny Mimi. She was served a heaping plate full of her favorite cat food while Flavia sat scowling and growling from the other side of the room(jealous spoiled thing). Now Mimi sleeps happily on a pile of quilts in the bedroom, jumping up meowing and purring every time I enter. It will take a few days to feed the wild and starving look out of her eyes and fatten her up. I can't believe I had given her up as dead. After all the excitement I went back out to finish setting the water, I didn't care anymore if I did get soaked.

My life today...

Life doesn't seem to slow down much these days. Every day is packed full of the many things that must be done. Psalm 104:23 "Man goeth forth unto his work and to his labour until the evening." Yesterday I slept in unintentionally but once I was up I ended up working pretty much nonstop for 12 hours. Somehow that doesn't seem right to me but there is certain work that can't wait for me while I take a break. Even though I was beat at the end of the day I feel that Yahweh approves, after all He is the one who seems to be putting this work before me, I know that I didn't ask for it! I don't mind really, at least not right now. Sure there are times when I feel like pulling my hair out(usually when the day is late and I'm tired). In the long run, I know it's Yahweh who has given me the work and and for that reason I feel much more content doing it willingly and joyfully. Colossians 3:23 "And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;"